Now Presenting: Leah McKnight

My Newest Niece : ) Born April 18th 2008, 6lb 9oz.

Just doin' my Civic Duty!

So I voted today in the much anticipated Pennsylvania primary. It was a tough decision for me but I definitely felt good leaving the voting booth today, like I made a difference...which could just be a delusion of reference. Either way I'm glad that I could contribute by performing this civic duty.

However, I want to know why it's important that Heidi Montag, a faux-lebrity, endorsed John McCain. First off she's not important, secondly she's definitely not someone I would weigh my opinion too heavily upon. I'm not all into the whole Hills Lauren vs. Heidi dual and I'm a bit ashamed that I am even aware that exists. Keep it on MTV people!! I mean I have my own guilty pleasures such as Rob and Big, any Real World, or now Viva Hollywood (which I realize is on VH1) BUT I don't need these reality stars on my CNN or morning news show, because I'm sorry but you're not news. I was watching the news the other morning and was so excited to find out that Heidi Montag just started her own clothing line called sluts-r-us er I mean Heidiwood, the perfect clothing for any 15-21 year old female! Then she endorses McCain but isn't a registered voter. Yes, I would be embarrassed if she was supporting any candidate I was intending to vote for.

So anyway, get out and vote people. and hug a tree - it's earth day.

The Mythical Summer

The Mythical Summer

When spring arrives in all its wonderfulness, I begin to dream about summer. I am still weighed down by the shackles of academia and long for the freedom that I associate with summer. I found myself daydreaming the other day while driving with the windows down and bobbing my head to Mungo Jerry's "In the Summertime". I was imagining a pristine summer filled with road trips to the beach, relaxing by the pool with a margarita in hand, and just a general sense of bliss. Then I made the sad realization that I have these same daydreams every spring when the weather begins to turn warm and that these dreams rarely even come close to coming true. My summers tend to be filled with overworking (last summer was spent partially unemployed which limited all my activities because of a lack of funds leading to a slight depression) and the dreaded sweating-while-sitting-still problem. But I have to look forward to this summer because it will truly be my last summer of freedom. Next summer I take comps exams and then begin my 3 day a week internship in July. I will officially become an adult who no longer has the summers off. *tear* And even if this mythical summer does not truly exist for me or most others, it shall always be my Unicorn. Something that brings me happiness just simply thinking about and I will continue wanting to chase after it in hopes of eventually finding it someday.

Case of the Mondays

Okay to best summarize the weekend and my glorious Monday I have decided to simply list my current loves.likes.hates.

LOVE
son of rambow. spring weather. sleeping with a fan on. viva hollywood. being oh-so close to the end of the semester. Jake. celeb spotting in philly. running. grilled corn. target. playing the music really loud in the apartment with all the windows open (don't worry it was in the afternoon). walking through the city on a warm day and sitting in the park people watching.

LIKE
music festivals in media. my insurance covers chiropractor visits WITH a referral. working with the window open. my supervisor coming in late today. apricot beer. ambre becoming bret michaels' new rock of love. watching hipsters. seeing our middle-aged neighbors across the way stand on their patio bottomless.

HATE
seeing our middle-aged neighbors across the way stand on their patio bottomless (hello instant entertainment but hello sagging, hairy, and blindingly white body parts we'd rather NOT see) inebriated and belligerent Jake.eating too many points. falling down the stairs a week ago which has rendered me unable to run until I can see a chiropractor. red-headed step child who will not stop bothering me at practicum. ALWAYS being one report behind in my writing. being the crazy dramatic couple that i fear my classmates are beginning to hate. bills.

Frosted Flakes...or Flake.

OK apparently I have an addictive personality because I just want to blog all day now instead of work. I just quickly need to blog this because it was TOO much. The coworker I mentioned this morning who truly annoys me has now stopped in my office today twice to have these bizarre conversations with himself. I'm hardly involved. The first time he came in here reciting something from some movie or god knows what. Second time he enters with a bowl of frosted flakes offers me some and then in a weird commercial spokesperson voice says "The taste adults have grown to love. They're G-R-R-R-R-R-E-A-T!" so bizarre. then I say how I'm looking to buy tickets to this movie, "Son of Rambow" playing at the film fest tonight.

He says "Son of Rainbow"
I say, "No, Son of RAM-BO"
he says "Son of Rambo?"
I say "Yes, Son of RAMBO"
he says "That's a movie? Son of Rambo? Like Rambo?"
and then my head explodes.

Random Morning Thoughts

Okay so my mind was working overtime this morning and these are some random, perhaps a little odd thoughts that crossed my mind while on the train and walking to my "job" aka practicum.

1. Ugh! I'm so thirsty!! Why do plastic/nalgene bottles have to leach chemicals into the water so now I'm afraid to use them???

2. Am I starting to dress like...an old lady? I feel like an old lady! I'm wearing leopard print-peep toe shoes, dark denim, and a brown turtleneck with short sleeves and a keyhole back. very clearly I resemble an old woman. Maybe it's my hair and the earrings. not sure but I feel like I look alot older than I am. Must find extra $500 to do a little wardrobe update...once I finally reach my goal weight, whenever that will be. I probably will be an old lady then.

3. Wow, who farted (on the train)?

4. Where should we eat tonight? Tria?

5. Mmmm new Ryan Reynolds movie...must see. Ahh! Smart People, really want to see that too. BUT there's the film festival going on and I really want to see the film about 2 boys who make a movie out of their love for Rambo.

6. Who farted...again???

7. I hate fridays just because I hate going to practicum. why lord, why?

8. I'm scared to travel on SEPTA at night now because of like 3 attacks on train platforms in the city...maybe we shouldn't go to a movie in the city tonight.

9. Too many people running through Suburban Station (my train stop). everyone milling about makes me think of an ant pile.

10. girl wearing weird stirrup tights. flashback to 3rd grade and stirrup pants. hideous.

11. still think I look like an old lady.

12. Could I ever be a city dweller? people are so freakin' loud here!!

13. hate elevators. always weird people on elevators. got on an elevator that apparently does not want to move. got off elevator. now on elevator with half attractive man with bicycle. made a little small talk. awkward. yuck. his bike is like all rusted out. is it my floor yet?

14. In little deli shop on 14th floor...caffeine!! Tried to kick my diet soda habit but have not completely rid myself of this addiction. Diet Mt. Dew I LOVE you! and a water. and a sugar free pudding for later.

15. back in elevator dreading reaching the 17th floor. ugh I hate sweating. I really hate it, especially when my upper lip & hairline start getting dewey. yuck! sweating when exercising, fine. sweating when just standing around? no. not ok. sometimes I do miss that cold NoDak weather.

16. WTF? Door to get into my office locked. ring the doorbell. 2 clients standing with me. awkward AGAIN. great...person who annoys me most at this place opens the door. GOOD MORNING!

17. Is today over yet?

first REAL day of spring!

So it is abso-freakin-lutely GORGEOUS outside. A sunny 70 degree day with little breeze. The grass is green, the flowers have popped, and the cherry blossoms are blooming. And here I am, stuck in an office...not quite as terrible as a cubicle but all the same I have no window in sight :( Just adding to my general gloom and doom outlook for the week. I have started feeling extremely burnt out from school, work, and practicum. Luckily there is roughly 21 days of until school is over and another 2 weeks after that I'll be done with practicum. THANK JESUS! Then home to the prairies to meet my new niece or nephew...can't wait. I feel badly for the hubby because he's been really homesick this past week, I think missing his guy friends a lot. Both of us have been reminiscing over our college days - although they're not very far away all the people we became close to then are. I was always somewhat skeptical when my mother said you will make lifelong friendships at college but darn it, she was right :) Not to say that I haven't made friends here but it's just different, a different time in life.

I work with undergraduates through my work study position and sometimes I am so surprised at their questions...like, uh duuuuh, you don't know that or you don't know how to at least figure it out on your own?? Ever heard of Google?! I wonder if I was as wide-eyed and green as some of these kiddies seem to be. It's funny because sometimes I can easily relate to them simply due to closeness in age but then other times I feel as though there is a huge canyon of experience between us. which there is. wow. profound. when I'm 80 I hope I still feel just as young but 100 times wiser :)

Speaking up...sort of.

For a good portion of my life I have always felt it easy to connect and be friends with males. There weren't that many around in my hometown of 250 people, graduating class 10 BUT guys have always seemed attractive in the sense of no drama, no frills kind of friendship. I went to college had a wide array of guy friends who truly were just friends, brothers if you will. I met my now husband and all of his buddies adopted me. He was in a fraternity and since I stayed there quite often many of them began to think of me as one of the guys. Granted this had it's positives and negatives. It was nice to have this sort of platonic/fun relationship that required a lot less work than most of my close female relationships BUT then sometimes I found myself being annoyed about feeling invisible, asexual, and subject to some chauvinistic comments that I rarely showed my upset over.

So fast forward a few years, I'm in graduate school in a helping profession and again I'm not surrounded by many males. However, a few of the guys in my class who of course became my instant friends have said some of the most misogynistic things I have ever heard. Yet I stand by with my mouth closed. I might roll my eyes or make a classic scoff at them but never really voice how their words hurt me. I'm not sure if they watched too many episodes of the Pick Up Artist on VH1 and they think "negs" (put down comments that help draw in a female) are cool or if they really think talking to or about a woman that way is okay. I would have to say most of my interactions with them involves some sort of "I'm-higher-up-slash-better-than-you-in-every-sense-of-the-word-and-I-should-be-worshipped" For example, if they are talking and I were to interject something I would get a "excuse me, the adults are talking" Like really?! What the F does that mean? I also get to hear the tawdry commentary about other females. Both seem to have an affinity for extremely thin, barely legal girls and I get very tired of hearing them talk about women like cars or cuts of meat.

What's worse is I begin to wonder why am I supposedly friends with these people who make me feel lesser than myself and what that says about me, a self-described liberal woman? I always end up biting my tongue and then bitch about it later and threaten to either punch both of them in the face or kick them where it hurts. So passive aggressive of me!!! Thought: Am I being a woman that they think I should be (quiet & subservient)?? But really, what good would a kick, punch, or sharp tongue teach them? Would that just make me (in their eyes) to be some feminist man-hating bitch who's opinion they would ignore anyway? Only one way to find out I guess...where can I get a sexy yet practical pair of pointy heels or boxing gloves?

Got a First Timer Here

So here I am, a once avid journal-er who started writing down my thoughts, dreams, desires at age 6 when I got my first Little Twin Star diary. Unfortunately I fell out of that habit but have been wanting to return to that cathartic pleasure I found in writing down my thoughts and opinions on life. Take my words for what you will (if anyone will even read this) :)