so I currently reside 2,000 miles from my hometown. I basically get to see my family and close friends from home on average twice a year. not to get narcissistic but when I come home I expect people to make time for me. I take time out of my schedule and money out of my wallet to fly home and visit. I realize that people have lives, jobs, and laundry that don't magically stop or do themselves when I come into town but really?
Stop cleaning or whatever it is you're doing and hang out with me.
Don't wait until the day before I leave to cram in some quality time with me.
I really hate that but I guess what I hate more is when there is no effort to spend any time with me at all.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
the temperamental runner.
since the 5k race I ran on the 17th I have run twice and I am very dissatisfied with myself. without access to a treadmil while I am home I have been left to brave the great outdoors. and while I do enjoy running outside I have found that I am quite picky about my weather and road specifications for a good run. It has been ungodly windy here on the prairies (imagine that) and I DESPISE running into 50 mph wind gusts. yes, I know that wind could give me a better workout but was that what I was looking for? no. I just wanted to run dammit! So it's windy, then it's windy and rainy, and now today the wind is not quite so bad but it's this bone chilling wind from the north. and I was so excited to run at home because the terrain is much more flat than compared to where I live out in PA. Again hills are great for the workout but sometimes I just want to go for an easy relaxing run not a quadriceps are on fire and are about to burn holes in my pants can't walk for the next 2 days run. So what is a novice runner to do? I really want to start sucking it up and be a devoted rain or shine kind of runner but I'm not sure what it's going to take to get me there.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Family.
So as I have ventured back into my homeland of the upper midwest, I have been thinking quite a bit about family. I have a fairly strong loyalty to my family and am always surprised to hear tales of families that have members that have cut all ties. To me it has been comforting to know that no matter what, my family is going to be there for me. I haven't tested the limits of that rule but deep down I think that is true of me and my family. It has only been my family, with the exception of my husband and a few of my closest friends, that I feel can really understand the all-encompassing-me because they lived through the moments or have been the people that have shaped who I am.
I truly enjoy my extended family and I had the pleasure of seeing two of my cousins and my aunt and uncle this past weekend. Extended family, like old friends, are easy to reconnect with even if it has been months, maybe years since you've seen one another. There are always stories that are told every visit about the weird cousin who has a speech impediment and strokes people earlobes. Tales about a grandparent, aunt or uncle, parent, or cousin that I hadn't heard before are gems that are sometimes unearthed in these visits. But mostly I just enjoy laughing about the moments we retell and relive, like red mickey mouse sweatshirts with matching sweatpants.
I'm not sure if it's the DNA or the history we share or perhaps both that makes this link seem especially special but I think it is one that for those of us who are lucky to have family and have good relationships with our family members take for granted at times. While I am home for now I try my best to live in the moment appreciate what has been given me :)
I truly enjoy my extended family and I had the pleasure of seeing two of my cousins and my aunt and uncle this past weekend. Extended family, like old friends, are easy to reconnect with even if it has been months, maybe years since you've seen one another. There are always stories that are told every visit about the weird cousin who has a speech impediment and strokes people earlobes. Tales about a grandparent, aunt or uncle, parent, or cousin that I hadn't heard before are gems that are sometimes unearthed in these visits. But mostly I just enjoy laughing about the moments we retell and relive, like red mickey mouse sweatshirts with matching sweatpants.
I'm not sure if it's the DNA or the history we share or perhaps both that makes this link seem especially special but I think it is one that for those of us who are lucky to have family and have good relationships with our family members take for granted at times. While I am home for now I try my best to live in the moment appreciate what has been given me :)
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Procrastination
first a definition from everyone's favorite, Wikipedia :)
Procrastination is a type of behavior which is characterized by deferment of actions or tasks to a later time. Psychologists often cite procrastination as a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision.
For an individual, procrastination may result in stress, a sense of guilt, the loss of personal productivity, the creation of crisis and the disapproval of others for not fulfilling one's responsibilities or commitments. These combined feelings can promote further procrastination. While it is normal for people to procrastinate to some degree, it becomes a problem when it impedes normal functioning. Chronic procrastination may be a sign of an underlying psychological or physiological disorder.
procrastination (uncountable)
The act of postponing, delaying or putting off, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.
Procrastination is the thief of time. — anon.
So either I have some underlying psychological/physiological problem or I'm just plain lazy. I think it's the latter...I'll be the first to admit that a good portion of the time I'm pretty lazy. I've gotten better about starting projects early on and not leaving things until the last minute but I do like to drag my feet from time to time. Now most likely people that have worked with me in an employment setting or even at school probably don't think I'm lazy because I usually pull through AND I'm really good at looking busy :) Like cleaning the apartment instead of writing the last page of that paper or organizing the desk drawers instead of typing up a report. I find that in order to do a complicated or time consuming task I like to warm up with a mindless one. This may delay me in completing the initial and more important task but cleaning up or organizing first makes me feel accomplished and more capable of successfully completing the task I originally set out to do. Ok maybe I do I have an underlying psychological problem....
Procrastination is a type of behavior which is characterized by deferment of actions or tasks to a later time. Psychologists often cite procrastination as a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision.
For an individual, procrastination may result in stress, a sense of guilt, the loss of personal productivity, the creation of crisis and the disapproval of others for not fulfilling one's responsibilities or commitments. These combined feelings can promote further procrastination. While it is normal for people to procrastinate to some degree, it becomes a problem when it impedes normal functioning. Chronic procrastination may be a sign of an underlying psychological or physiological disorder.
procrastination (uncountable)
The act of postponing, delaying or putting off, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.
Procrastination is the thief of time. — anon.
So either I have some underlying psychological/physiological problem or I'm just plain lazy. I think it's the latter...I'll be the first to admit that a good portion of the time I'm pretty lazy. I've gotten better about starting projects early on and not leaving things until the last minute but I do like to drag my feet from time to time. Now most likely people that have worked with me in an employment setting or even at school probably don't think I'm lazy because I usually pull through AND I'm really good at looking busy :) Like cleaning the apartment instead of writing the last page of that paper or organizing the desk drawers instead of typing up a report. I find that in order to do a complicated or time consuming task I like to warm up with a mindless one. This may delay me in completing the initial and more important task but cleaning up or organizing first makes me feel accomplished and more capable of successfully completing the task I originally set out to do. Ok maybe I do I have an underlying psychological problem....
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