How the Cheetah (or was it the Leopard) Got its Spots

I honestly had no idea that my last post was in February (!?!) So as I was on my way to work this morning I began letting the chatter that used to be my typical inner dialogue return. The last few months have been super intense - working on my dissertation proposal, taking my part time job less than seriously but never the less still putting in at least 10 hours a week, project after test after paper, and therapizing people two days a week. Now that all that is over (SIGH of relief) Operation Comps studying began yesterday. I have 3 weeks to prepare myself for what too many people have stated was the worst experience of their lives. I personally think there is probably far much worse things in the world, not a lot, but there are worse things (like death).

Ok so why a Cheetah you ask? *see title line above*
Well I have now entered what will be my routine the rest of the month. Getting up everyday by 7:20 to get ready and come to my part time job on campus and then study for Comps in the afternoon. This morning as per usual I had a bit of a wardrobe crisis. It's supposed to be warm but when that happens the office is usually freezing! Especially where I sit, which just happens to be under a vent. Yes I like to be cold, but I have to come prepared. So I had on my khaki colored skirt, brown shirt, and some tan flats on. Then it occurred to me I might need a sweater/cardigan of some sort. Put on my turquoise one to match my earrings. (LOVE turquoise & brown together) Didn't like the way the sweater hung off my body. So I pulled out of the spare room closet my cheetah (pretty sure it's cheetah, not leopard) print cardigan. Jake hates it. Thinks it looks too matronly or something. Ok I just checked and I'm still unsure if it's cheetah or leopard. Either way I'm a little worried I look like a 40 year old mom. At least I'm not wearing the khaki capris that don't have pockets on the butt. yeesh.

Facebook Applications...

"or whatever the hell you want to call them" - Jake

So at one point in my facebook life I thought these "applications" were fun!
Oooh stickers and flair!! (ok I still secretly like them a little bit)
But I have reached my application quota.
I don't need to find more ways to waste my time on facebook. I don't want to be distracted with geography trivia or sending people fake plants.

Just let me enjoy my facebook time doing more productive things like creep aka stalk people most of whom I really don't talk to.

Life is a Bowl of Cherries

2009 has not been a great year thus far.
Why you ask?
To be honest it hasn't been horrible but it has definitely not been great.
I feel like I'm drowning right now in a million anxieties, mostly related to school.
Almost all are connected to the question of "When will I get all of this done?"
My job is a headache.
The economy is bad.
Jake is stressed out at his job.
My schedule is beyond crazy...I go to work in the morning, drive half an hour to do therapy with one or two clients, drive home and try to work on my dissertation.
I knew grad school would be a lesser form of insanity but I'm thinking my breaking point is around the corner.
All my classes feel pointless - definitely not essential to me being a competent psychologist.
Then there is the dark monster looming at the end of the hallway - Master's comps.
4 days of sheer hell and at least a month of studying prior to these 4 days. You can fail but you have to retake the sections you failed. I keep telling myself I will pass, it will be fine, it will suck beyond measure but it will be fine.
Just call me Debbie Downer.
So I'm trying to boost up a positive attitude and be more efficient.
Take it one day at a time.
Yes, all of this is overwhelming but in order to keep myself sane I have to
stop.
breathe.
and do the most I can every day and that will probably be good enough.
It will be tough but in the end I'll be a stronger and more accomplished person (with a Master's and then a Doctorate)
I'm not sure what the phrase "Life is just a bowl of cherries" means but I've always liked it and I've always liked cherries so it might be my new mantra.
Sure things could be easier right now, but they could be a lot worse.

I'll Be Home For Christmas...If I Make It Out of the PHL Airport

Last Thursday Jake and I tried to fly home standby on a flight. We didn't make it on, which would have been fine but we had to deal with some really idiotic people working for US Airways. We made it home on Friday (fortunately) but I wanted to share the entertaining hell we went through to make it back.

1. "I will freak out! Write that down on that note that 'I will freak out if you call my house.' My wife can't know what is in my luggage!! Someone is going to get fired..." - random man freaking out because US Airways lost his bag and apparently there was something in said bag that was not supposed to be found by his wife.

2. "I don't read...I can't read that." - US Airways counter clerk woman who refused to even look at my confirmation number printed out from an email.

3. "You have to get your refund by mail" - trying to get our money back for the standby ticket that we paid for with a debit card.

4. "You can get your refund at the ticketing counter" - what the US Airways baggage claim lady told us.

5. "They don't let us handle refunds here! You will have to call someone, here take this number [which turned out to be a FAX number!] - same counter lady that told me she doesn't read.

6. "Well I told that man, your husband or whoever, that there weren't any seats on the plane." - woman who sold us the tickets that she would not refund.

7. "I'm sorry ma'am but your bags are not in the computer system. They are probably in Minneapolis if that's where you were going, but I don't know for sure" - PHL baggage claim person.

United We Stand...

So last night history was made when Barack Obama was elected president of this great country. I, of course, was elated and still am but as I was saddened today by many of the non-supporter's comments and statuses on facebook. I know it's only facebook but I think that those comments and statuses filled with hatred, disdain, and hostility truly reflect how many people in this country feel right now. I want to gloat and rub this victory in all the haters' faces but that doesn't feel like the right thing to do. It is beyond frustrating how polarized our country is on many issues and now our president (as it seems it has been in the last few elections) with the country split in half on who they support. Why is it people are so uncomfortable with the grey areas and you must be in one box or the other? Why is it so hard to put aside some of our differences and work together to improve our country?

Now I would have been disappointed in many regards if McCain/Palin had won but instead of turning my back I would like to think I would have looked towards how to make the best of the situation. I would not have given up hope or thrown in the towel. No matter how deep my disappointment I do not think I would stoop so low as to wish death on the opponent. Sadly I saw today on facebook (not any of my friends but people part of a NObama group) say that it doesn't matter that Obama was elected because he will be assassinated anyway. That's not the kind of country I want to be part of. Hatred is not the answer to solving any problem; diplomacy, compromise, and a desire to do something for the greater good is what will make this world a better place. The fight for presidency is over and now it is time for us to unite and rebuild our county!

I truly enjoyed Obama's acceptance speech last night and it was clear he is poised and preparing himself for the hard road ahead of him and our country in terms of our economy, the Iraq war, and our foreign affairs. I think this quote from last night's speech sums it up.

"It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled. Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of red states and blue states. We are, and always will be, the United States of America."

My Political Endorsement

Yesterday, I attended an Obama rally at Widener University. The weather was frigid and wet. I stood outside for almost 4 hours in order to hear, see, and support the man I hope becomes our country's next president.

A number of political and local leaders spoke before Obama took the stage. Shortly before 10am I could see security staff take the rooftops of nearby buildings. He was about to appear before the crowd. The mounting anticipation was palpable. Even though my body was cold, tired, and shivering I was excited and energized. The music swelled and people started cheering. Off to my right, Barack emerged through the crowd, shaking hands and smiling. I was taken off guard because suddenly I could not breathe and a lump formed in my throat.

The whole scene was truly awe inspiring - thousands of people standing in the 40 degree pouring rain to see this man who hopefully will bring the change our country needs. Our university's president told me later that he saw an older African-American man who was blind standing in the rain, with a smile on his face, listening to the words of Obama and said that he never thought that this day would arrive.

I tried to hear every word he said, but now as I think back I cannot honestly recall a single phrase but I can remember the feeling, the excitement, the momentum. All I hope will carry him to the White House next Tuesday. Our country is ready for change and yesterday that answer was blowing in the wind.

The Perfect Disguise

So, Halloween is probably my favorite of all holidays or at least a close second. Sure, the usual favorite - aka Christmas - is all about giving and being with loved ones which hopefully makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but creating that feeling can be stressful e.g. figuring out what to get everyone for gifts, coming up with money for said gifts, baking goodies, decorating the house, hosting a holiday party. However, Halloween you get to pretend to be someone else, threaten to make someone smell your feet if they don't give you candy, and revel in giving people a good scare.

This year Jake and I have been trying to figure out what/who we should dress up as for Halloween. I have to say that being coupled can make this endeavor much more fun but maybe a little more difficult. I was searching the web for ideas and came across a website (and many more like it) with a special section of "sexy" costumes. These sexy costumes included things like sexy army cadet, sexy bull fighter, sexy Christmas elf, sexy cuddly lion, sexy Dorothy (as in Oz), sexy Eskimo, sexy fire woman, sexy head nurse, sexy honey bee, sexy Indian princess (also comes in pink), sexy missy claus, sexy referee...and this list goes on and on and on. So pretty much put sexy in front of anything and voila! you have your Halloween costume. So original.

Yeah I've heard that Halloween is every woman's excuse to dress like a slut but I don't feel the need this year to take that opportunity and I really haven't in years past. I like making people laugh, wonder who it is underneath that costume, or actually have to think about what the costume means. So this year we've decided it's going to be Hans and Franz and I definitely plan on annoying the heck out of everyone by talking in my best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice the entire night. We will pump *clap clap* you up!!